Memories

Yesterday was the eight year anniversary of my baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have been thinking a lot lately about what that decision has meant for my life and how much has changed since that day. I can't say that anything about me has remained untouched by that single decision. My family, my friends, my goals, my hobbies, even the way I think things through! It is kind of amazing!
I remember the feeling of panic and sadness when I realized that I couldn't be baptized on the day that we had planned. We were all so worried for a friend who'd gotten in a terrible accident the day before. It was a difficult week, but it showed me a side of the gospel that I hadn't seen yet and has been a blessing for me to have experienced.
I remember being so excited and nervous that day. There were so many people there! I missed my parents, but I had such a great big family there to support me. I will always remember the feeling of awkwardness as I was walking down the aisle of the chapel in a white suit that was much too small for me. I remember being baptized and having this amazing feeling of warmth come over me and seeing all these welcoming and warm faces looking at me as I came out of the water. There was no feeling of self-consciousness, it was just a great moment!
I had so much support from friends who gave talks, sang songs and were thinking about me from far away. I will never forget getting a present delivered to me by a boy that I had never met from a friend on her study abroad in Spain!
The past eight years have been full to the brim of experiences and I owe so much of them to the gospel. I met a wonderful man who I married in the temple and we have been able to have two lovely, albeit rambunctious children. I have been able to serve in different callings and learn new skills, make new friends and learn more about myself. I have been encouraged, strengthened, inspired, taught and lifted. I have felt inadequate, concerned and lost. I have gained the knowledge that I am truly never alone and always loved by my Father in Heaven and my Savior.
I really don't know how to express what it has been like being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's challenging and so worth it.

My Two Crazies

Let's start with Ben as he is the oldest. 

Ben is the happiest little boy I know. He is constantly laughing, smiling, talking, singing or jumping about. He is also the most active, nutty child I have come in contact with. He loves to jump, run and, in all other ways, remain moving at all times. When he gets tired it is as if his energy level increases exponentially and I end up trying to keep him from literally bouncing off the walls. He is so delirious as he is running pell mell around the house that he doesn't always watch where he is going and often finds himself running into walls, chairs, tables, etc. This is also the time when it is easiest for him to get upset. Most of the time when he is denied something he will keep asking in a mischievous sort of way and then eventually give up and go about his business. However, when he is tired he will either do whatever he can to get what he wants anyway or he makes a terrible fuss and has to be left in his room to calm down. Neither is a fun experience for either party. Luckily, this is not a super common occurrence; as I said before, he is a very happy child.

On normal days when he is well rested and all is as it should be Ben likes to play with his trains and cars. Now, if you have had children who really love trains you know that all things become tracks. You also know that many conversations must be had about what are appropriate things to use for tracks. Ben uses everything and has, on occasion, tried to use myself, Michael and his little sister as tracks. These are the times when he and I have those conversations I was talking about earlier. 

Train books and movies are a hot commodity in our home as well as Curious George. This fits well as I believe that if Benjamin were let loose as often as that monkey he would probably end up in trouble just as often or more so. 

He is so independent and loves to do things his own way. Ben can get a bee in his bonnet about practically anything: who turns the lights on, who says the prayer, whether he has a fork or a spoon for his pasta, which red block his sister plays with. Mostly he just wants things done how he wants them done. Not only that, but he needs to do it; taking advice, help or suggestions from his parents is a sign of weakness. 

Ben is too smart for his own good and seems, at times, to notice everything. It seems as though his mind becomes a steel trap and everything done or said within his vicinity is observed, pondered and locked safe in his head until a time comes when he finds a "good use" for the information.

For all the energy and mayhem Ben embodies he is also extremely sweet and is most always willing to give hugs and say "sorry", "thank you" and "please". And though he wiggles the entire time, he loves to sit on my lap or lay next to me on the couch (not necessarily for very long). He's my Silly Monkey, Mr. Goof and Bubbalou, but mostly he's my Benny.

As for the young lady of the family... she's following in Ben's footsteps... literally. Elsie is approximately nine and a half months old and recently she learned to walk. She is now standing up on her own, walking from room to room and able to carry with her something in each hand and sometimes her mouth as well.  Needless to say she is very active. She is so active that getting her dressed should be considered an olympic sport.

Ben also learned to walk around nine or ten months. So all this walking and activity wasn't too much of a shock, it is everything else that surprises me. Ben may be curious, but Elsie is ravenous. She eats everything! She is constantly looking for something new to taste and, because she has teeth, chew on. Ben's trains and cars have lost paint, books have lost bits of their pages, even the walls and windows have felt the insatiable appetite of her tongue. And because she has tasted everything she can immediately get her hands on this leads her in search of more exciting flavors. So naturally she gets into everything. Every moment someone has to watch her or she runs towards the laundry room where clothes are soaking in Oxyclean or to the bathroom where Ben's potty seat is situated at just the right height for little Elsie fingers. Happily, we have been able to prevent any real mishap with either rooms, but I am constantly on alert.

Besides being obsessed with taste testing the house and walking, Elsie loves playing with Ben, looking at her favorite books, eating actual food and being held (unless she would rather walk). She is also quite a vocal little thing. She loves to make all sorts of noises. Her tongue is amazing and she can do quite a number of tricks with it. With this wondrous tongue of hers she can make a noise like a baby wookiee. She also can growl and this she does often, especially when she is playing. 

There are times when she reminds me of Godzilla. With her arms up near her head to give her balance and these weird growling noises coming out of her mouth she descends upon whatever track or block structure her brother is trying to play with and destroys it. This, as you can imagine, is very distressing to Ben. However, he gets her back often enough. Ben believes all toys in our house are his, and because of this he is often taking them from Elsie. When this happens one of two things happens, she either looks a little bewildered then moves on or if it is something she was really enjoying she yells and proceeds to try and take it back. The latter method hardly ever ends well. 

Elsie and her brother do get along. Ben watches out for her and lets us know if she needs more puffs to eat or a toy to play with. Elsie is always trying to follow Ben around, which can be somewhat dangerous as he often will run in circles around our table and has run into her full force more than once. She also loves to yell at him. What I mean by this is they yell at each other. Back and forth... it's a bit too much for Michael and I so we never let it last too long, but they love it!

The thing Elsie hates most of all is sleep. This has made us very sad on many an occasion and continues to do so every now and again. As many people do, I love sleep. Elsie has decided that she only really needs to sleep if she is coerced and even then it doesn't have to be for long. After many attempts we finally have got her to the point where going to bed at night is not a bad thing, though she still wakes up two to three times a night. If she is not promptly picked up, she cries until someone comes to retrieve her. You might be asking "why don't you let her cry herself to sleep?" This is of course a valid question. The answer is that we have tried this, with little success and many very sleepless nights.

Elsie is also quite the charmer. She is very social and likes to be apart of things. When we enter the room she always greets us with her radiant and toothy smile. She has the most striking smile, which she is willing to give anyone, no matter how unfamiliar, who sends a smile her direction.  However, if that same unsuspecting soul attempts to hold her that beautiful sunshine of a smile quickly clouds over and a storm of cries and tears begins. I tell myself that she just loves her mommy too much. 

Yes, my little girl is very opinionated and tells you all about it. She is lively and sweet. She is my Gooshie, Goose and Lady and I can't imagine life without her.

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Thoughts on Mom

It has been three years since my life was changed more drastically than I ever thought it could be in less than 24 hours. I have to admit I am still not quite where I would like to be. My mother was a big part of my life and I have been missing that part quite a bit these past three years. I always imagine how things would be easier and happier if she were around. I have learned, however, that I can be happy.
No, my life will never be perfect, but it can be happy. With all the difficulties that I face from day to day come so many wonderful blessings. When the great blow was struck three years ago I did not have to wait more than a matter of hours before I was blessed with a healthy, sweet baby boy. I'm not saying that becoming a mother after losing your own mother is easy or even a good thing to do, but it does divert some of your attention from your loss.
I know that things have been more difficult for me than they would have been if she were still alive and I have to admit that I have found myself jealous at times of other women my age who enjoy the blessings of their mother's presence. However, I also know that because I had the mother I did, I have been so well off in my life that I really have no right to complain. She gave me a wonderful example to strive for in my life and helped to make me the person I am today.
Even though she is not here to hold my babies and exclaim over how much they've grown, even though she isn't there to talk me through the difficult times we have with potty training and sleep training and tell me my feelings are normal, the memory of who she was and how she lived is with me, to guide me and let me know how blessed and good my life is, even in the tough times. I love her so much for that, I feel so blessed because of it. Thanks, Mom!

Elsie's Blessing

After five months Elsie was blessed with her Grandpa Jerry, her Nani Annette, Uncle Matt, Auntie Katherine and new cousin Amelie in attendance. It was wonderful to have the family together at the church and then afterwards at our little place.
She was a good girl and didn't cry, but she did smack her daddy in the face :) All of the men were helping to hold her so she wouldn't wiggle free from the circle. By the end of sacrament meeting most of the family had been quarantined to the foyer due to unruly children.
After we returned home we celebrated with lasagna and treats. Nothing big, but it was nice to have everyone together. The kids loved playing with their grandparents and we all admired the newest addition to the Perrone family, Baby Amelie!
We are so blessed to have such a fantastic family to support us!

It's Elsie! ...and BEN!!

So it's been a crazy few weeks with our new little lady in the household. I think part of the craziness has been a result of the lack of sleep we have all been getting. Elsie and Ben decided to take shifts for awhile. Ben would sleep at night and Elsie would sleep during the day so that there would always be someone awake to keep Mommy and Daddy company. Then Ben decided that he didn't want to sleep until midnight and Elsie decided she didn't really want to sleep, so we were all a little worse for wear. Happily, this phase did not last long and Ben is now going to sleep closer to eleven and Elsie is usually asleep by twelve, yay!
Apart from all our wonderful adventures in sleep, we have enjoyed watching the two siblings get to know one another. Ben has been very interested in this new person called "Baby Sister" and always wants to be involved in anything she is doing. Of course, there is the inevitable grab for attention every now and then: throwing balls/trains/cars in the house, getting into everything he shouldn't, and attacking his parents when their backs are turned. All in all, though, he really does seem to like his sister.
Elsie loves watching her older brother run around performing all his antics. She is never so happy as she is when he is screeching at her. He thinks this is how she communicates and screeches until she answers back or Mommy and Daddy tell him to stop. She is quite the smiler and very verbal; I think she'll be a singer like her brother

Elsie Kathleen's Grand Arrival

This is a little late coming, but here it is. On November 21st I had gone through my day looking at my very full planner and checking off the to-dos. That night I spent two hours visiting teaching and telling my fellow sisters that there was no way the baby was going to come before Thanksgiving. I returned home around nine o'clock and got Ben to bed - this took some time (he's still not the best at going to sleep). We finally got him to sleep and were discussing what late night snack we would have when at about ten thirty I felt a contraction.
By 11:00 I had had four contractions and all were rather irregular, but since Ben came so quickly and I needed to be on antibiotics for four hours, the doctor told me to call and get checked if I felt anything. So we called the hospital and told them we were coming.
Poor Ben got about half an hour of sleep before we woke him up and dragged him outside in the cold to the hospital. Where he had to hang out in triage while they asked all the usual questions.
I still felt that she couldn't be coming- she wasn't supposed to be here until the third of December, but we still called Michael's brother and his wife to come get Ben just in case.
Well, as I am sure you've guessed, I was told that I was to be staying in the hospital and that I needed to get on antibiotic right away. Ben was taken home and went right back to bed, thank goodness and we, shocked as we were, prepared to meet our daughter.
At 1:15 in the morning, that's right, only two hour and forty-five minutes from the first contraction, she was here. With brown hair, blue eyes and seven pounds five ounces to her name, she came out crying and healthy. Apart from the fact that the labor was quite intense, all was well and we enjoyed getting to know our new baby.
Ben, of course, spent his first visit to the hospital exploring the room and driving his trains on the different equipment, but he eventually realized there was a baby and that it was supposed to mean something to him :)
Elsie has been a great addition to our family, even though we are all still getting used to being a family of four.

She's got Friar Tuck hair, it's awesome!

The Evils of Mold and Pregnancy

So there is nothing evil about being pregnant, but finding mold in your home is that much more irritating when you are pregnant and trying to get everything ready for a new baby.
Last Saturday we were moving our room around to make room for a crib and discovered that some things that we had been storing under our bed had mold on them. With further investigation we found it on several items on the bottom of the closet and very little, but still some, in Ben's closet. Thank you Seattle humidity... Needless to say we went out and bought anything we could find that would treat mold and began work. We had to throw several things out and decided it would be best to wash pretty much everything (including carpets). Then we called an inspector who told us that this issue was in its early stages and as long as we watch it there shouldn't be a serious problem (good news).
Our dehumidifier has been running practically 24/7 so this problem will not occur again (I hope). Now that it is all pretty much taken care of I am realizing that am now even further behind in my to dos, but it is nice to know that we have thoroughly cleaned our home. One item off the list!